What's love got to do with it?

I watched recently as a young girl of perhaps 12 snuggled up close to her grandmother, whose health is rapidly declining.  The girl might not understand truly what dying is but she knows that something big is changing about her grandmother and she doesn't like it--she wants to hang on to things the way they've always been.

Grandparents are a constant.  They (we) aren't seen daily so the good days and bad days aren't so obvious.  They (we) are always good and generous and happy.

My grandson fell recently and had to have stitches on his chin.   His doctor dad did the stitching (and did a fine job, by the way) while doctor mom and I held him down.  It wasn't fun. 

The biggest heartbreak was when Ephraim wouldn't hug his dad when it was all over.   The good news is that he was over it by the next day.

But later that same night I was laying in bed feeling guilty.   An odd emotion under the circumstances.  I wasn't there when it happened and it was unpreventable anyway.   He had spent the afternoon rock hopping on Middle Prong above Tremont and then slipped in the tub during his nightly bath.  If an accident was going to happen, you would have thought it would be in the mountains.

I found myself, easily the least important person in this whole equation, wondering what I could have done for this to not have happened.  What could I do to take away the pain? 

I've written before about my mom's statement to me when I was young:  "You never know what love is until you have one of your own."   Mostly true, it sure hit home with this case.

I've tackled topics here far and wide.  Despite advice against it, I've covered religion and politics and what it takes to be a good parent.  But never love.

So, what is love?

I can tell you that love isn't a feeling, yet you might not know it has hit you until it hits you.  

We say we love bacon or ice cream or red velvet cake but is that the same as the love we feel for our spouse, children, or significant other? 

True love isn't a feeling or a desire.   Love isn't sex (uh-oh...there's another taboo subject).

Love is honest.  Love is happy.  Love is unconditional. 

Love is doing things that you might not really like to do.   I don't really like to shop.  Well, maybe that's not quite true.  I like to "buy" but not "shop." But I do it.

I hate vacuuming the floors but if my wife asks, I do it.  I hate Brussel Sprouts.  I used to hate broccoli but not anymore.  I don't think I will ever not hate Brussel Sprouts. 

If you truly love someone, when they hurt, you hurt.  When little Ephraim split his chin open, I hurt.  When my daughter had to hold him down, I hurt for her.  And when Ephraim wouldn't hug his dad, my heart ached.

Maybe that's what it's all about.

Smoky Mountain Rowing Club

Carbon dating has indicated that I've been writing this column for 28 years.   At first, it was somewhat irregular but a long time ago, it became a weekly venture.

Ideas come from everywhere.   Last week, it was an idea posed by Dr. Ted Flickinger.  Lots of times it is from personal experiences and stories.  Many times, it is inspiration from my pastor, Jerry Mantooth.  Lots of ideas have come home scribbled in the margins of our church bulletin.  

And you, the readers, have come up with a lot of them.  That's the case this week.   I got a really nice letter from Maryvillian Liz Hubbard about the local rowing scene.  Her husband Roger started the first rowing club in Blount County in 2004.  

Known as Smoky Mountain Rowing Club, it was first intended for adults, mainly Roger's employees at Molecular Pathology Laboratory, but in 2007 a program for local high school students was added.

At first, I was sure that I had written not long ago about the sport of rowing in our community.  I looked and looked and then finally found evidence of a column once started but never finished.   It consisted of only one line, which most writers will tell you is the hardest part (actually, I find the last sentence to often be the hardest--something about never knowing when to shut up).

But rowing has grown here by leaps and bounds, it is a great sport, and it is certainly worthy of space here. 

 According to Liz, "while the juniors club was sponsored by Maryville High School, students from several Knoxville high schools and Maryville Christian also participated.  With limited resources, the first year was for girls only, since women are the prime beneficiaries of NCAA scholarships due to Title IX, but with increased interest, the club was open to boys as well the next year."

Again from Liz:  "The neat thing about rowing is that you don't have to have been doing it since you were 5 or 6 to excel-in fact, you really can't even start until about the eighth grade or so in order to fit in the boats.  So it's another path to fitness for those kids who haven't found something yet to get involved in. Like a lot of team sports, rowing builds character, leadership, teamwork and not least, extreme physical fitness!  Rowers pick up a lot of physics by learning what makes boats go fast in the water.  Adults can benefit tremendously as well, with a low-impact cardio sport that can be enjoyed on our beautiful East Tennessee lakes and rivers.  This area boasts several rowing clubs from Oak Ridge to Chattanooga, allowing for some friendly competition as well."

Currently there are about 20 adults and 30-35 juniors in the program.  An alumnus of SMRC, Liza Rader, is now on scholarship as a member of the UT Lady Vols team.  Several others are rowing collegiately.

The club's facilities are on Ft. Loudon Lake, off Rankin Ferry Loop in Louisville.  They offer recreational and competitive programs, trying to offer something for everyone.   The club recently attained nonprofit status as it devotes a considerable amount of time to teaching the sport of rowing to interested adults, as well as day camps in the summer for kids to discover rowing. 

My thanks for the prompt to Liz, a former collegiate rower at the University of Virginia, oh, a year or two ago.

Superseniors!

Individually, I've written about them here before.  Some of them more than once. 

Dr. Ted Flickinger calls them Superseniors.  I like that term; Senior citizens that are doing super things.   They are mostly folks that aren't letting the calendar dictate their activity level.  

Like George "Rat" Long.   Rat posted such good times winning his age division in Tennessee Senior Olympics bicycling that he would have done well in the youngest age category.   By conservative estimates, he biked over 8000 miles in 2011 and plans on doing more in 2012.

He regularly rides with folks decades younger than he is--and drops many of them off on the side of the road.   Rat will be 72 this year.

Or Caroline Haynes.  I wrote about her recently but she never ceases to amaze.   Playing through an injury, she and her doubles partner recently battled back from an early loss to win the consolation bracket championship at a tournament in Fort Lauderdale.

I think she gets tired of me printing this but she plays like she's 30 and looks like she's 50.  Oh, and she's 74. 

Or Bill Proffitt.  Another frequent competitor at the Senior Olympics, Bill has stayed fit for many years by staying committed to being physically active.   He exercises regularly and rides his bike every day (weather permitting).    He's 87.

Or Dr. Charlie Raper, who is still running marathons at 74.   Having driven up Pikes Peak, I'm still in awe of the days when Dr. Raper ran marathons up that mountain.  He plans to run his umpteenth Boston Marathon this year.

Many of you will remember Margaret Steverson, hiker extraordinaire, who made such a routine of hiking Mount LeConte that they were usually looking for her arrival.  

It was my pleasure to hike with her on one occasion.  At the time, I was probably 50 years her junior yet she sprinted up Alum Cave Bluff Trail as I plodded along.  Along the way, she hiked every trail in the Great Smoky Mountain National Park.  Her 718th and last trip on LeConte was at age 83.  

So what do these folks have that most others don't have?  I think a big part of it is that they just refuse to accept that at a certain age you have to slow down.  They don't allow birthdays determine how they pursue the activities that they love.   

Each has found a formula to add quality to their senior years.  Fitness, good health, and proper nutrition seem important to them as well.   You've heard it here before:  you can't put garbage in a high performance engine. 

They  have all obviously found an activity that they just happen to be good at but which also brings them great happiness.    I can tell you that Rat rides a bicycle with a smile on his face.

And maybe that's the most important ingredient:  The pursuit of happiness.   For what greater reward can we have on this earth than to remain happy for as long as our body lets us? 

Superseniors?  Yeah, I like that term a lot.