Little Eyes Are Watching!

I've written pretty much the same column before.  Even indicted my childhood chum here before.  But some stories are worth telling again.

I must have been about 10.  I was attending a high school basketball game and sitting on the balcony with my friend Jimmy Greenway.   We were sitting right over the main entrance to the gym and as people would enter, we would drop popcorn on them.

Keep in mind this was the early 60's, when "big" hair was all the rage.  We were generally aiming for those bouffant hairdo's.  You had to time it just right to get them as they walked by.  We hit a few.

A woman with a small son-he was maybe 4-sitting in the stands behind us turned to her son and said "don't turn out like them."

It shocked me.  Bothered me badly (obviously, since I remember it so distinctly 50 years later).  And it changed me.

Young and old, let me remind you of an absolute fact:  Somewhere, sometime someone little is looking at you, watching how you behave.  

It might be someone you know.  It might be a complete stranger.   But they are modeling their own behavior after yours.  If they know you and admire you, they might dream of being just like you.

I generally like Charles Barkley.  I liked the way he played the game.  He has a great sense of humor and is an excellent basketball commentator.  But when he declared that he was "nobody's role model," he lost me.

He may not choose to be a role model, but he is.   When a professional athlete admits to an extramarital affair, those that admire that athlete just inched closer to accepting that as normal behavior.  When a college athlete describes an incident as consensual sex, it becomes a little more acceptable to too many people.

I hear coaches tell their players about this stuff all the time.  I hear them say "when you are in the community, you are representing yourself, your team, your family."

I guarantee you that there is somebody looking at every member of the MHS and AHS state championship football teams and dreaming of being "just like them."  In every way. 

How do you act when you are in line to pick up a burger?   Do you treat the clerk with respect?  Are you patient?  Do you offer someone that is struggling your place in line?

Or do you do like I saw a couple of older guys do last weekend at the movie?  When told that they were in the wrong wing of the theater, they acted as though the teenage ticket-checker had insulted them.  One guy jabbed his straw down in his popcorn with such force that he spilled part of the contents.  That one was laughable (and I did laugh).

Maybe we learn how NOT to act from watching someone else.  But I never wanted to be that person so when I heard what that young mother told her son, I resolved to change.  

I want to walk-the-walk.  I want to be that person that behaves admirably, respectfully all the time; sometimes especially when I don't think anybody is watching.

Little eyes are watching you.  And copying you.  And if you don't watch out, they are going to grow up to be just like you.

What would you have them to be?

 

Gym Stereotypes

Before you jump to the conclusion that this may be about you, let me tell you that the character I'm describing today is not one person but a composite of several.   (But if it hits too close to home...well...maybe you ought to think about it for a minute.)

OK, your New Year's Resolution (NYR) was to finally get fit.  So you joined the gym.  But really, I probably shouldn't get used to seeing you around.  Statistics tell us that 80% those that join a gym based on their NYR will be gone in 4 months or less. 60% will be gone by mid-February.

So here you are.  And it appears you asked for workout gear for Christmas because everything looks brand new.  But man, you look pretty ridiculous in those Lululemon Yoga pants that may seem to come in men's sizes but were most assuredly not meant for guys.  Especially not for guys that need to lose 35 pounds.

And the high tech shirt that you cut the sleeves out for goodness knows whatever reason--you don't yet have the arms for that one although I did catch you flexing your biceps just now.  Was it for that cute girl on the elliptical machine?  Oh my goodness, I thought for a moment you were going to lean over and kiss it (your biceps, I mean).

But before you actually get started with anything, you've got to make sure that you have your tunes on.  The arm holder and the neon ear buds take a good 10 minutes to adjust just right and then you sit looking at what I can only imagine is a hundred different workout playlists--at least it seems that way because you flip through them for another 10 minutes.

So the first thing you do is to rack up a bunch of weight on an Olympic platform but never really get around to lifting it.  Just when you think people are not looking, you move over to another weight.

And there you are.  Standing there looking at a weight, staring at it really.  I can't help but think of that guy on late night TV that used to bend things without touching them before a live audience. Wasn't he The Amazing Carnac? He would just look at a fork or spoon and they would start to bend. You had that same look in your eyes so I half expected the bar to start bending merely from your stare.

Once you got around to actually lifting a weight, you screamed/grunted so that everybody within a quarter mile radius could hear you and notice that surely you just lifted a monumental amount of weight or even did a PR or something like that.

Oh and then after you did pick the bar up, you immediately dropped it, I guess because you saw that on TV. And then you picked it up again and dropped it again. Don't you know that lowering that weight to the floor will help give you better strength than dropping it ever could?

I bet you've got a set of dumbbells by your bed at home because...well..everybody knows it's "curls for girls."  In a random study, I didn't find a single female who listed big biceps as the physical trait they most admire in the male species--didn't even make the top 10.

Oh, and you really didn't do a very good job of fake-hiding your supplement stash.  I guess my first clue to that was when you took it out of your cavernous gym bag and put it on the gym's front desk. 

What's that?  You want some advice about how to get fit?  Really?  And you're willing to put in the time and the effort?  And listen when the professionals set up a program that seems completely different from everything you ever heard?

Wow.  There's hope for you yet?  But dude, forget the Lululemons.

Make Changes, Not Resolutions

Did you make any resolutions this week?   Did you resolve to eat better?  Exercise more? 

Quit smoking?  Slow down and smell the roses?  Sleep more?  Sleep less?

One friend resolved to be the best that he could be.   Maybe he plans on joining the Army. 

How about this?  How about resolving to establish new habits?  Don't just promise yourself to lose 10 pounds, change your eating habits for the better. 

Let's face it....New Year's resolutions are really just a decision to be a better you.  Whatever you see as your shortcomings, whatever you see about yourself that needs to be improved, that's what you resolve to change. 

I looked up "resolve" in Webster's dictionary (online edition, of course).  It said " to make a definite and serious decision to do something."

OK.  I'm good with that.  A "serious" decision, huh.  But shouldn't there be some sort of commitment-type thing in there too?

How about a commitment to establish new habits?  Good habits are what make a lot of people successful.  Books have been written about the subject.

For this discussion, I did what most people do:  I googled up "habits of successful people."  And I found a lot of what really seemed appropriate to this discussion.

Like "Don't Create Back-Up Plans."   You're going to get up in the morning and exercise. Period.  There really isn't an option. Hitting the snooze or re-setting the alarm simply doesn't happen.

And do it at least 5 days a week.  Remember that morning works better since it kicks up your metabolism and removes your excuses.

"Do The Work."  There is no easy way.   Eating right takes effort.     Quitting smoking is hard--nicotine is highly addictive.  If exercise that makes you healthier were easy, everybody would already be doing it.

How about the point that successful people are "Goal Oriented."   Yeah, it does help to establish goals.  But aim high.  And when you reach your goals, set new, higher goals.

It just makes sense to follow that with "Be Results Oriented."  Maybe "be the best person I can be" is just too ambiguous.  How about no fried foods for a month.  And then another month.  And another.  Actions that you follow long enough become habit.

"Successful People Are Honest With Themselves."   I like that one too.  Like, having a diet soda with a triple cheeseburger, hold the lettuce.  Now just who do you think you are kidding?

I like the observation that successful people "Avoid The Crowds."   All those people walking on the treadmill while reading the newspaper, does it seem like it's working for them?

Forget the resolutions--make the decision to truly change the way you pursue health and happiness by making exercise and eating right habits.