Life's Failures

First, for the record, let me state that I have made plenty of mistakes. Plenty.  Some I remember and others I have worked hard to forget. 

Last week I was talking to a group of physical therapy students from across the state.  At the end of one talk, I opened the floor for questions.  I had been talking about mentorship and how to build a career.  One student asked me “what failures have you learned from in your career?”

Interesting question.  I don’t really think I’ve failed at anything.  Oh, there are some things that I’ve set out to do that I didn’t accomplish.  I don’t think I failed at those. 

At this point, it is necessary to switch to a non-gratuitous sports analogy.  I didn’t fail.  Time just ran out. 

Not every team can go undefeated.  Every year.  It just doesn’t work that way.  Some of the greatest dynasties in sports with some of the longest win streaks eventually did lose. 

I’m not going to say that “it doesn’t matter whether you win or lose but how you play the game.”  That’s not the way I’m wired.  I never played a game of any kind when the outcome didn’t matter to me. 

All those parents that have kids playing in games where they don’t keep score—they are silently keeping score.  And if they’re not, their kids are.

Keeping score gives our games structure.  And having a winner in every game teaches us lessons that hopefully extend way beyond sports.  That maybe we need to work harder.  Prepare better. 

I hate the term “loser.”  When you think of that word, all sorts of images enter your head, none of them good. 

It ignores the valiant effort that fell just short.  It betrays the athlete that gave it everything they had but couldn’t vanquish a superior opponent.

The lessons we learn from sports reach WAY beyond the games themselves.  We need the games to measure how we’re doing but the lessons don’t start there; they start on the practice field and in the gym. 

Those lessons start in the weight room and running on the track.  They exist in doing something that you don’t think you can do.  Of pushing yourself physically until you can’t do any more (but maybe reach down and find that little more). 

I was going to open a downtown restaurant one time.  I got cold feet about the economy and didn’t do it.  Sullivan’s is there now.  A failure?  Not really.  My family is rather glad I’m not in the restaurant business.  I’m gone enough as it is.

I opened a hospital equipment store once long ago.  It didn’t do so great so I sold it.  A failure?  Maybe.

The bottom line is that the mistakes that I’ve made, the failures (OK, I’ll agree to that term) that I’ve had, have led me to where I am today.  Have made me the person that I am today.

And I have to be OK with that.  Without those mistakes, without those failures, maybe I wouldn’t be who I am today.

I am happy with my life.  Great wife of almost 42 years.  Great kids.  Greater grandkids.  Great friends.  Good health.  Fun hobbies.  The chance to do what I love and get paid for it.  Yeah, I’m in a pretty good place. 

If You See Me Taking The Elevator Down One Flight Of Stairs, Slap Me On The Back Of The Head

I’ve always been pretty harsh with people that sport handicapped tags on their vehicle yet don’t appear to be handicapped.  I know that a lot of handicaps aren’t really visible and I try and understand that. 

I also know of a fellow that not too long ago bragged to me that he was able to finally snag one of those handicapped tags that hang from the mirror, allowing him to park in those prime parking spots.  Without violating federal laws, I can tell you that the only handicap that this guy has is laziness.

So when I see someone with a real handicap, maybe they’re in a wheelchair, and the parking spots are all occupied with cars bearing those hanging tags…well…I just question the fairness of it all.  

I recently gained some appreciation for the dilemma though.  Let me step back a bit.  I had my first knee surgery as a teenager.  I’ve had several more since then.  My right knee is pretty well shot.  If you catch me running, you better run too because something big and bad is chasing me.

My coaches try to be kind about it all.  When one of my football players is injured and I try and run onto the football field, I’m sure there are folks wondering if I’m going to make it or not. It is U-G-L-Y. 

The coaching staff has even been known to tease me about having it all on video.  Maybe that they are concerned that the athlete might expire before I get there.  That my 40 time is measured on a calendar.

I’ve seriously considered keeping my bicycle on the sidelines to make the trip quicker. (I can still move pretty good on a bicycle.)  The good folks at Ortho Tennessee-Maryville (formerly Maryville Orthopedic Clinic) are going to get to know me on an all new level some day.  That total knee replacement is looming.

Most days I deal with it fine.  My weight is good and my core strength is too, factors which keep my knee pain under control.  Most of the time.  I am well acquainted with Vitamin I (Ibuprofen).

I can hike pretty well.  Actually, I can go uphill quite well.  Downhill, eh, that’s another matter.  Without hiking poles, I might not make it downhill.

But recently, my right knee has taken a turn for the worse.  Maybe that knee replacement is gonna happen sooner than I planned.  There are days when even walking is ugly.  So back to my story.

I sometimes have to attend meetings at the hospital in the middle of the day.  And a lot of those days, the only parking spot is quite some distance away.  I’ve learned to build extra time into getting to those meetings.

I’m pretty sure that somebody could look at X-Rays of my knee and decide I was worthy of one of those handicapped parking tags.  If you are old enough, you might say I walk like Chester (if you know, you know).

Anyway, I’m not going to let a little knee pain make me do something selfish like get a handicapped parking tag.  There are just too many people that truly deserve that privilege.  People in wheelchairs.  People on crutches.  People that need that space.  Not me.

I’m going to continue to park on the far side of the parking lot.  I’m going to continue taking the stairs whenever I can.  And if you ever catch me taking the elevator down one flight of stairs, feel free to come up and smack me on the back of the head.

But that’s just the way I am.