The Assist that counted most

Aaron Eakins was an offensive whiz on the basketball court.  When he graduated from William Blount High School in 2005, he was their all-time leading scorer.  To say he could light it up is pretty accurate.

While at William Blount, he was All-County twice and All-District Tournament 3 times.  He made several other all-tournament teams including being named the tournament MVP his senior year at the Sequoyah Christmas Classic.

Despite that scoring prowess, he was still team player.  I talked last week about a "Basketball Jones." Aaron was definitely that kind of basketball player-a real student of the game. 

Yet, he was never really known for his assists.

Phil Eakins is a 36 year employee of the Blount County Parks & Rec Department. A talented athlete in his own right, Phil was a 3 sports letterman at Townsend High School in the early 70’s.

Phil lost a kidney when he was 19. He's 58 now and really didn't have much problems in the intervening years but had a light heart attack in 2008.  Treatment for that damaged the other kidney but it was still able to function at a 20% capacity.

But by early 2011, his kidney function had dropped to 16% and dialysis was looming. It was time to search for a donor.   As is most often the case, the best chance for a match was from Phil’s immediate family.   Phil’s wife, Dena was tested first, but was not a match. However 3 of his children, Tommie, Melissa, and Aaron were.  The decision was soon made…his son Aaron wanted to be the one to provide the kidney for his dad.

Phil began dialysis on March 20th of 2012 as his kidney function continued to decrease. His stamina suffered but he felt quite good for the most part and continued to work. While in dialysis, Phil really felt out of place.  "These people were sick.  I really wasn't.  I felt like I was taking up resources that could better be used by someone else."

At the time, Phil's son Aaron was working for Ruby Tuesday in St. Augustine.    In June of 2012 he moved home to prep for surgery, which was performed on  October 2nd of 2012. Phil flew thru the post-op.  That's typical for this type of kidney transplant.  However, the process was far more painful for Aaron,  which is very common for the donor.

 
For Phil, life since he got a new kidney has been good.  He has a better quality of life and feels healthier than he was at 40.   He also has a very special place in his heart for people on dialysis and what they go thru daily.

As for Aaron, he’s taken a job with Publix at Turkey Creek and is doing well. He did have to explain the hole in his resume that was created by the transplant.

And he's finally known for his assists.

Basketball Jones!

I can still feel the ball rolling off my fingertips.  My eyes follow the arc of the ball until it swishes cleanly through the net.

It's been several months since my final basketball game and I still miss it dearly.  For most of my life, I've been a "Basketball Jones."  If Cheech and Chong mean nothing to you, that might not mean anything to you either.

But to me it means that I love to play basketball.  That I go to sleep at night thinking of a basketball game in which every shot goes in and maybe, oh maybe, I can dunk. 

I used to play all of the time.  Go back a little bit and you find me as part of lunch-time games every Tuesday and Thursday that my Mom swore would dictate when we held her funeral.  A standing game on Sunday evening started with Dr. Ken Bell and I in probably 1982 and lasted until the current millenium.

Go back even further and you would find me traveling all over town, looking for the best game.  Sandy Springs Park was the main place but games were to be found at Everett Park and at old school gyms all across the county.  Mentor, Alynwick, Walland...I knew 'em all.

I even used to head over to the Alcoa courts that used to be next to the Candy Store.  I didn't really fit in there but kids like Lester Whitted (maybe still the greatest all-around athlete I ever knew) and Dino Allen made sure I was welcome.  It helped that I could hit the 3 and was well aware of how valuable an assist was in that setting.

I used to go by and pick up Dawn Marsh and take her around with me sometimes.  Lots of games wouldn't let a girl in the game but I made sure that she got in.  And then she embarrassed them.  Every time.

Current colleague Rebecca Myers Morris and I share some memories of similar circumstances.  She and I picked up a friend of hers and a local high male player and sent a bunch of college guys here for the summer home in a huff (and with a loss).  An old guy, two girls, and a couple of high school kids thumped 'em.

While at UT-Memphis, I worked in the gym at the Student Center which means I could jump into a game pretty much anytime I wanted to.  I've known days when I would play until the tips of my fingers would blister.

You might ask yourself what sane 59 year old man loves basketball that much.  Let me be the first to tell you--this one.

Let me back up a bit.  I've told parts of this story before.

Back in the fall, I had some stomach problems that meant that I had to quit taking ibuprofen for several months.  What I found was that without the ibuprofen, basketball was really brutal on my knees. 

I can bike all day long without medical help but basketball is a different story.  I think I've got a lot of years left on the bicycle but every year on the basketball court was borrowed.

So I hung up my basketball shoes.  For good.  

But every once in a while, I'd just like to get out there one more time.  Hit the 3.  Shoot the reverse layup from the back side.  Experiences to build a dream on.

Guilty!

I suppose now that my mom knows the ugly truth and the statute of limitations is long since passed, I can share a story with you.   Mom is 93 and I'm almost 60 but it was only about a month ago that I finally told her the whole story

The year was 1970. I was a 17 year old high school junior and a really decent kid, if I do say so myself.  I remember it like it was yesterday.

This particular day was a Sunday morning.  My mom and I arrived for Sunday School at First Baptist Church of Loudon.  The first person we saw was Ernie Black (no relation) who scolded me:  "I can't believe you 'egged' Mrs. (name withheld because...well...I don't have a good reason...maybe I'm afraid some relative is still alive that might yet retaliate)'s house."  This person was an English teacher  at Loudon High School.

The next person I ran into said pretty much  the same thing and added that he was really disappointed in me, that he thought I was a much better person than that.  The problem was that I didn't do it.

So on my way home, with my mother in the car, I stopped by this teacher's house.  When I knocked on the door, she opened it without taking off the chain thingie, just like what you find on hotel doors.  I'm pretty sure that she owned the only hotel-type chain security device in all of Loudon County. 

"What do YOU want?"

"Yes mam, I would really like to know why you're telling everyone that I egged your house."

"Because you did.  I saw you.  You were hanging out of that Ronnie McNabb's car and throwing eggs at my house."

"No, mam, I didn't do that." 

"Yes you did!"   SLAM.

OK.  My mom knew that much of the story.   She believed me when I told her that I didn't do it.   What she didn't know until almost 43 years later was that the next weekend three friends and I dropped four dozen eggs on this teacher's house, commando-style, in the middle of the night. 

I figured that if I'm gonna do the time, I might as well do the crime (or something like that).  And I still don't feel bad about that little bit of revenge.  So what's the message (and what the heck is this doing in the sports page)?

I don't know.   Maybe it has to do with the importance of maintaining your reputation.  Even at that young age, it was important to me.   I saw myself as one of the good guys.  Football player, good student, Eagle Scout, in church pretty much every time the doors were open, and already a community activist.

I have always cared about what people thought about me.  I remember another incident years earlier in which I did do something that I shouldn't have and the mother of a young child said to her son "please don't turn out like them."  That one hurts to this day.

The bottom line is that if you don't have a good reputation, you can't be trusted which means that you won't be given any real responsibilities which means that you won't get the opportunities that you might deserve.  That works on the playing field and in the board room.

So protect your reputation but first make sure that you deserve it.  Be the person that others can trust--the person that they know they can count on.  It makes you the best possible teammate or co-worker.

Build on those memories

There are a whole lot of high school football players around here that played football for the last time in their lives within the last couple of months.  

There are a few of those seniors that might have the opportunity to play in college but the vast majority have played their last games.  Ever.  And that's OK.

For some, their season was cut short by an injury.   We seemed to have several of those this year.  It seems particularly  tragic when it is the senior year.

Everybody dreams of going out with a stellar senior year.   For most little boys that want to play football, a great senior year is the crowning glory to a career that they literally dream about.

I can remember mine.  For most of the 40 years since, I could tell you scores and plays and details at a level that was nothing short of amazing, if I do say so myself.  Can't do that so much anymore but I can tell you who won each and every game. 

We lost three times that year after going undefeated and winning the state championship the year before.  Those losses were an upset win to Dayton (which later became Rhea County), Cleveland, and eventual state champion Maryville.  

Yeah, Maryville.  It seems somehow ironic or maybe even fitting that I've spent almost my entire adult life living in Maryville, considering that Loudon-Maryville was this huge football rivalry that I got to be a part of.

I knew all the players on that Maryville team because coaching at Loudon was Coach Gary Dutton, who had coached that bunch seniors when they were at Maryville Junior High.  I could go to the line of scrimmage and call them out by name.  Jim Allison, Johnny and Joe Emert, Tommy Beaver.  I'd like to think it was a little disconcerting when I called them by name.

I can tell you that we were leading 28-21 late in the game until a punt return by MHS for a touchdown to tie it and then a score with less than a minute won it for Maryville, 35-28. 

In my many years in Maryville since, I have met many of those players and count a goodly number as friends.  It's probably helped that MHS won the game. 

Memories are the fabric that helps us understand who we are, not just where we've been.  I don't believe in living in the past but the past is still the foundation on which we build our lives.

For underclassmen, the next season has already started.   Workouts have already started.  Bigger.  Stronger.  Faster.  New dreams for next year's seniors

For those whose season ended early due to injuries, they are hard at work in rehab and it is one of the great pleasures of my professions that I get to follow them all the way back to the playing field. 

Enjoy it all.  You are building memories every day.  When I see J.L. Millsaps or Lonnie Hawkins, we can see and feel those times--practices, workouts, and games--like they were yesterday.

What did you inherit?

What did you inherit?   I'm not really talking about money although I suppose if your trust fund allows you to do whatever you want, that's OK too.

Maybe you inherited a medical condition.   Your heritage is important in that if you don't know your family's medical history (maybe you were adopted), you could be at a medical disadvantage.

Diabetes, Cystic Fibrosis, Muscular Dystrophy, Hemophilia, Neurofibromatosis, certain types of cancer.  That's why it's important to know our medical heritage.  Heart disease has genetic tendencies as do many other conditions.

Let's look at colon cancer, for example.   If there is colon cancer in your family, you are more likely to get it than someone that does not.  That makes it more important for you to have regular screenings and colonoscopies.   I'm really looking more at what lessons did you inherit?  What legacy of character did your parents give you.

Maybe your inheritance was lessons learned.  The lesson I remember most profoundly from my dad was to "always do a job right the first time." 

When I was about 10, I decided to build a tree house.  Well...it wasn't really a tree house, sort of a very small, one-room cabin up on stilts.   I had salvaged building materials from lots of different places, including some tongue-in-groove flooring from the neighbors when they replaced their porch.

At this time in my life, my dad was totally disabled.  He had lived through a series of heart attacks and back then (early 60's), you retired from work and basically did nothing.

We dried our washed clothes on a clothesline outside but one of the forbidden activities for those having had a heart attack was that you couldn't reach or lift over your head.  He tried a lot of different hobbies but washing dishes was about as vigorous as he could get. 

When I started my tree house, my dad sat in a lawn chair and coached me through the construction.   If I were to bend a nail and then keep hammering, he would calmly make me pull the nail, straighten it out, then start all over again.  "Always do it right the first time."  Oh yeah, we straightened bent nails.

What else?  "Don't date anybody you wouldn't marry."  And  "do unto others as you would have them do unto you" (but I never did like that turn the other cheek thing).

"A job worth doing is worth doing well."  Maybe because I may not have been the most athletically gifted that  "hard work beats talent when talent doesn’t work hard enough" (definitely a bunch of sports analogies in those two).

 
Maybe most of all, my parents taught me that there was a great, wide world out there and that the key to happiness is to find a job that when you wake up in the morning you look forward to getting to work and to find someone to share it with you.

I inherited a love for the outdoors, of lakes and mountains, and that it was important to take care of those that might not be able to take care of themselves.

Pretty good inheritance in my book.

Don't take anything for granted

I got word just the other day of the death of my childhood friend, Daniel "Killdee" Johnson. 

Daniel's best friend was actually Jimmy Greenway, but they often let me hang around on one of their many adventures.  I have great memories of mud football on the banks of the Tennessee River, possum hunting, and Red Man around a campfire.

Daniel's mom died when we were in the 7th grade and his dad was what we called a "tenant farmer," which mostly meant that he lived and worked on another family's farm.  

Daniel could jump out of the gym, being the first person in our class to dunk (in junior high) but wasn't the basketball star in high school we all thought he could be.  After graduation, he joined the Air Force and spent most of his adult years in North Dakota.   I never saw him again.

I'm getting old enough now that I'm afraid that this is going to happen more and more.   I don't want to get all maudlin but it does make you think about things.  

Like, never miss an opportunity to tell people what they mean to you.  You'll want that moment when it is past.

I know I wish for one more moment with my dad.  I'd ask him "how'd I do, Pops?"  I'd want to talk to him for hours.  "How did I do raising my own kids?"   Maybe "did I make you proud of the man I've become?"

I don't think my dad missed too many opportunities to let me know that he was proud of me, that he loved me. 

I can remember one time in particular when I was getting an award in college.  It really didn't mean much to me but after getting the award, as I was walking back to my seat, I found my dad crying.  Tears were rolling down his cheeks.  This was from a man that didn't return for the 7th grade and instead went to work in the textile mill to support his father-less family.

That award got a whole lot more important to me at that point.  I've never taken anything like that for granted since.

I've heard more than one coach tell their team not to take their season for granted.  At the beginning, it might seem like the season will never end but before you can blink, you're playing your last game.

And the relationships that you make through the shared experiences of being part of a team will remain fond memories throughout your lifetime.

I remember things that happened in football practice that happened 43 years ago.  I remember Dickie Blankenship hitting me when I was a sophomore and trying to decide if the big guys hit like this little guy, maybe this wasn't my sport after all.

I can remember successfully blocking Mike Bivens in practice one day.  "Big Mike" was, by far, our best lineman.  I was pretty sure on that day that football was my sport after all.

I can remember tackling MHS fullback Hal Ferst in a mid-season game.  Playing linebacker, I stepped up into the hole and took him on with my right shoulder, moving my feet like I had been coached.  15 yards downfield, I made the tackle and then got up and looked for my right arm, which I was pretty sure Hal Ferst had taken off at the shoulder.

Shared hardships.  Winning and losing together. Teammates.  Friends.  Memories to last a lifetime.

Joe's Rules

There are a few things that you can pretty much always count on.   Sort of "rules" of the universe.   In my little world, things are simpler.   So I came up with a list of Joe's Rules.

There's no such thing as the "right way" to do everything.   Some things just defy one solution.  And stay away from the person that thinks that they've found the one "true" way.   Instead, embrace the person who is asking all the questions, who is seeking the truth.

 It's hard to mess up bacon.  And shrimp.  I suppose that it's possible but I've really tried and I sure haven't found it. 

Sand.  Ocean.  Sun.  It's really hard to beat that combination.  

There IS such a thing as a dumb question.  Trust me.  I've asked plenty of them.  

There is no wrong time to do the right thing.  OK, so maybe this is a bit of a cliché.  I'll  try to do better. 

Everybody doing it doesn't make it OK for you to do.   I can remember my dad telling me that.  He would usually add that "if everyone was jumping off a cliff, would you jump off too?" Well...maybe.  He probably wouldn't have understood climbing that cliff with a rope and a harness.  Or diving with sharks.   I've done those.

Different can be OK.  A lot times it is the one that takes the different path that figures out a better way, invents things, or makes beautiful music.

Your kids will not suffer from being told "no."  Although I think it was made for grandparents, I would recommend that all young parents go see the movie Parental Guidance.  I am from a generation who was often told "no" and sometimes that was followed by a "because I said so."

We didn't suffer from it and it didn't scar us.   I didn't have self-esteem issues from being told I was wrong--I had self-esteem issues because I had bad hair, very little fashion sense, and liked all the girls that didn't like me. 

Do you think that video game is too violent?  Then why did you buy it?  We couldn't let my son watch "professional" wrestling on TV.  Every time we did, we got broken furniture.   Were his emotional needs neglected from depriving him of that?  Oh, heck no.

My kids didn't get denied much but they did get denied the privilege of watching gratuitous violence. 

Marry your best friend.  I can remember too many girls that just wanted "to be friends."  That's OK.  Be friends with all of them and then pick your mate from among 'em.  When the kids are grown, it sure is nice to be able to hang out all the time with your best friend.  Trust me on that one.

Out-work everybody.  Especially in sports.  You think MHS and AHS have successful football programs because of luck?  No, they outwork most everybody on their schedule.

That doesn't mean that other schools don't work hard.   I guarantee you that Tim Hammontree's Heritage squad will work as hard as anybody out there.   But you've got to have the attitude that on any given day, nobody is going to work harder than you.

Wanna be the "go-to" person on the court or field?  Want to be that person that everyone at work relies on?   Work harder.  Sure, work smarter when you can.  But always, always, always work harder.

Don't accept things because "that's the way it has always been done.”  There is usually a better way.  

Aim high.  Strive for perfection.  You might not quite make it but nobody strives for "average."