What Does It Take to Excel?

After that recent column critical of sports specialization (playing just one sport), I got a really interesting question from what I believe is a pretty good dad.  His question was "so what do I do to help my son be good?"

Let me say for the record that there is no need for apology if you want your kids to be better, smarter, and more athletic than you were.  It isn't always living vicariously through them. 

He and I agreed that the lessons learned from winning and losing were an important ingredient in what we take away from sports.   Think about it--there is something completely wrong with not having your efforts rewarded with a victory or at least a good loss against a worthy appointment.  I've never liked giving a trophy just for being on a team.  There needs to be structure and rewards built in. 

And we also agreed that lessons learned in sports can and should play an important part in our development into adults.

So what is the secret to helping your kids be successful on the playing fields?

It is my opinion that there are four parts to the answer. Developing athleticism, learning how to be part of a team, understanding the value of hard work, and growing passions.

I've visited this topic many times in the past and, much to his embarrassment, have declared that my son's love for the balance beam (definitely a girl's gymnastics event) taught him balance and coordination that carried on to a football career at Clemson University.

My son, who had a basketball in his hands and a passion for the game from his earliest days on, gave up the game after his sophomore year in high school for reasons complex reasons.   He then got involved with church league basketball in a league that used to be offered at 1st Baptist-Alcoa (maybe it still is).  One of the college coaches that was recruiting him, Joe D'Allesandris of Duke, wanted to see him play basketball.

I'm sure he'd seen a lot of film on him.  He just wanted to see his overall athleticism.  How he moved his body on a different playing field.   I'm convinced that college coaches don't want high school graduates that are the absolute best that they are going to ever be at that point.  They want someone that is good and will grow to be great.

The larger point is that playing lots of different things is the key to developing athleticism.  Even chucking rocks at a can is important (and the subject of a future column about pitching and throwing injuries).

The success of almost every team in team sports is based on teamwork--where everyone learns to function effectively as a team member.  Knowing your part and sacrificing "self" for the team is essential.

As I said earlier, rewarding hard work through success on the playing field sends clear messages and teaches important lessons that easily carry over into life and careers and family.

Finally, it's got to be fun.  We develop our passions around those things that we enjoy the most and those things that we have the greatest success in doing.   I can remember loving to practice football.  I certainly enjoyed the games but even the practices were things of great joy for me.  The pads, the helmets, the guys, even the smells. 

If you're passionate about, if you love every part of it, you are going to work harder at it and (this is important), you will work harder to keep playing longer.

Athleticism, teamwork, hard work, following our passions.  Isn't that what it's all about anyway?  Isn't that what this dad really wants?