The Mirror of the Soul

It has been said that the eyes are a reflection of one's soul.  That maybe you can tell all that you need to know about somebody by looking into their eyes.

I had a discussion just last week about hiring someone based on intuition.  It started when someone said that they were scheduled for a three hour interview for a position they were seeking.

Three hours?  What do you do in a three hour interview?  What could you possibly ask that would take that long  to answer?

No, I generally make my decisions on those matters in three minutes.  Or less.

Keep in mind that I've been in a position to make judgments about whether to hire someone or not for over 35 years.  I've made a few mistakes but made a lot more good decisions than bad ones. 

I believe my bad hiring decisions happened when I didn't pay attention to my intuition.  When someone talked me into hiring someone that I had a bad feeling about.

I believe in first impressions.  I've learned to trust those first impressions.  I want to look them in the eyes. 

Will they look you in the eyes?  There was a coach around here not too many years ago that couldn't look you in the eyes.   The first time I met that coach, he looked everywhere in the room but at me.

I predicted the failure that marked his coaching tenure here.   A person that can't look you in the eyes just simply can't be trusted.  He did fail.  Miserably.

I believe you can see confidence in someone's eyes.   And by the same token, you can see fear.  If you're an athlete, you know what I'm talking about.  You know when your opponent is beat.  You can see it.

My son tells the story of when he first lined up against a couple of All-American defensive linemen from Florida State.  The year was 2000 and he was a redshirt freshman at Clemson.   They were slobbering and yelling unmentionables at this 19 year old across the line from him.

But what he remembers is the look in their eyes.  He describes it variously as wild, out-of-control, frightening.  I suspect it was more than a little intimidating.

I believe that confidence is a big part of what makes some effective leaders.  Followers are looking for clues.  Is this someone worthy?  How do you walk into a room?  How do you enter a conversation?  What does someone see when they look in your eyes?

I watched a high school football player exhort his teammates to extra effort just a couple of Fridays ago.  The intensity in his eyes made you want match that intensity with effort on the football field.  

Heck, I even started looking around for a football uniform.

Is there a sparkle in their eyes?  Those are the people that you want to be around.   They are the ones that make you want to work harder, to play harder, maybe even to be a better person.

Back when I worked with our church youth group, I was always conscious of what my kids saw of themselves when they looked in my eyes.  Did they see that I appreciated them for who they were?  

That I loved them unconditionally?

The mirror of the soul?  I believe it is so.