Respect and Dignity

When you were growing up, did you have someone tell you that the sky was the limit?  Did you have someone in your life that supported you no matter what?

Maybe it was your parents.  (Surely it was your parents.)  It could have been a teacher.  For me it was a coach.

Oh my mom used to tell me every morning as I left for school "tell all those girls how handsome you are."  I wasn't.  She knew I was insecure about all that. 

My parents certainly had academic expectations for me.  They expected good grades.  They expected me to go to college.

I have no idea how they so fully manifested those expectations.  It was never an option for me.  And this was from a largely uneducated family.  My dad dropped out of school in the 6th grade to provide for his family when his own dad died.  (And sorry if you've heard that before.)

My mother completed high school but nobody in my family had ever gone to college.

The importance of education was a lesson I learned completely.  I wish I knew how they did that.  I would share it here and scream it to the masses.

Our parents have an indelible influence on who we are, what we do, and what we become.

I often (too often, probably) say that I don't see many bad kids but I see too many bad parents.

Let me tell you a little story.  Last Saturday, while returning to Heritage High School at the end of the Tour de Blount, I was approaching Coulter's Bridge when a young man, maybe 19 or 20, who was also on a bicycle but standing off the road, yelled at me as I passed "you do realize you're blocking traffic, don't you?"

My answer was "yes I do" although seconds later I wished I had said "you do realize that I am traffic, don't you?"

Now this isn't about to turn into another piece on the rights of the bicycle rider (the late, great Jim Dykes would say atta boy to that) but one about respect. 

What kind of upbringing did this kid have that would give him the impression that he could disrespect a complete stranger that way?  An obviously much senior stranger?

What lessons did his parents teach him (or not teach him) that left him with the impression that he could say anything to anybody, to disrespect  that complete stranger?

I mean, you could ask why he was so ignorant of traffic laws.  I had every right to be on that road.  Sure, there was a car behind me but he had only just gotten there and I was approaching an intersection where I would have allowed him to pass.  Do his parents really let him drive a car without knowing the basic rules of the road?

I believe that one of the basic lessons our parents owe us is how to be respectful.  How to represent the family with dignity.  To be polite, courteous, and considerate. 

I also believe those things form the basis for producing successful adults.  And I believe that this young man's parents have failed him.