Changing to Grow

New Year's Day.  New beginnings.  A fresh start.  New Year's resolutions and all that.

I've never been one much for new year's resolutions.  It's been a long time since I've felt like I needed huge changes in my life. 

Oh, there was a time when I decided I wanted to dramatically change who I was.  I was a sophomore in high school and I had ordered an outfit from a catalog to wear on the first day of school.  Plaid bell-bottom pants, sandals, a turtleneck shirt.  Doesn't sound too radical today but in that era, at my school,  it was definitely out there.

I wanted to be the new, cool Joe Black.  Stylish.  In today's terms, maybe edgy. Mostly it was about attracting girls. I don't think it worked.  Ok...it definitely didn't.

Anyway, one of my football coaches (now Dr. Gary Dutton) took one look at me and said "are you kidding me?"  That was it.  I couldn't wait to get home and put on my normal uniform of jeans, sneakers, and t-shirt.  Such was the respect that I had for him (still do).

Jump ahead a couple of years and I head off for college and for the first year I did everything possible not to let college change me. I went home every weekend.  I sort of "visited" college.   I missed a lot of opportunities for growth by doing that.

What I didn't realize at the time was that growth required change.  It was only when I started really experiencing college that I really began to grow. 

Never a great student, I found that I really could do college work.   I realized that nobody cared what I was wearing, where I was from, or even where I was going.  I hung out with people that were quite different from me.  I took a complete stranger out on a date.  Just walked up in the school cafeteria and asked her out.  I went to concerts and plays and college events just because they sounded interesting and because they were, well, free.

I learned to appreciate classical music.  I tried lots of new foods thanks mainly to Harold's Kosher Deli.  I learned how to really listen to poetry.  I developed an undying love affair with art.

I learned the personal responsibility that comes from living on your own and working two jobs to pay the bills.  I learned that working hard paid off both in the classroom and on the playing field. 

And after trying way too hard for way too long, I found a girl who really seemed to like me.  We've now been married for 40 years. 

What am I trying to say here?  That true change doesn't happen because you make a resolution to transform yourself.  True change comes when allow yourself to grow, to experience things-many of which are going to be outside your comfort zone.  True change often happens when you least expect it. 

True change requires a commitment, not a resolution.  True change only happens when you completely embrace it.  When you do that, nothing will get in your way.

Try this: What one thing about yourself most NEEDS changing?  It's not your looks.  You're stuck with what you have.  Your clothes?  Lots of stores to help you there.  Those are superficial.

But if you want to change your life, go for it.  Lose weight.  Quit smoking.  Exercise more.  Eat better.  Call that a Resolution if you want to.  To me it's more of a decision.