And The Survey Said...

A group of college athletes were asked the question "what's your worst memory from youth sports?" The most common answer was "the ride home from a game with my parents."

Those same athletes were asked what it was that they wanted to hear.  Overwhelmingly they said "I love to watch you play."

Are you that parent?  I was.  Until the day when I was sitting with my son, probably telling him what he did wrong at football practice that day or at least telling him what he should be doing. 

I played football.  I coached football.  At one time in college I was trying to decide if I wanted to be a doctor or a football coach.  I've been around the game in one fashion or another since I was in the 3rd grade.  That's...well, let's see...naught from naught is...well, that's a long, long time. 

But when my son said "I've got 10 coaches and one dad" I changed forever.  Forever.

 I spoke to a group of parents just before the just ended football season.  They were expecting me to talk  about injuries and how our sports medicine system worked and all that but the best advice that I had for them was "be their parent.  Be their mom and dad."

Just think about it.  If you remember those days of travel ball and Little League and gyms and games galore, what do you think might be your child's best memory?

The travel?  The friends?  The uniforms?  Probably those and more.  The ice cream after a game.  Being part of a team.  And yeah, winning a big game or a championship or something like that. 

It probably won't be the day they finally started finding the strike zone because of their pitching coach or the hours of practice or the time in the weight room.  Those are sometimes necessary ingredients but aren't likely to be anybody's best memory. 

Now think about what might be their worst memory.  Maybe it was you telling them everything they did wrong on the way home from the game?  Or you talking about what an idiot that the coach was for (A) not playing you more or (B) not calling the right plays.  Or maybe it was (C) complaining that the referees stole the game from you, (D) criticizing your teammates, (E) how the other team cheated.  That list could go on forever.

What they want to hear is "I'm proud of you."  Or maybe "you did well."  Or like the #1 answer on the survey said "I love to watch you play."

Because what YOU will remember is not how well they played or what play the coach did or didn't call.  You will remember the experience of sports with your child in it.  Maybe it is simply watching your child do something that you wish you had done or wish that you had the ability to do.  That's OK.

You will enjoy watching your child grow and change and learn to play on a team and be a good teammate.  If you let yourself, you might be amazed that the child that can't find the clothes hamper at home listens intently to a coach and does all that they ask.

If you just enjoy the games and not see them as the ticket to a free college education or a professional career, you might find that your son or daughter gets tons more joy out of playing those games.  And becomes better, happier adults because of it.