Application for being a Good Parent of an Athlete

Glad you asked. It helps if you know what it takes. Can’t apply for a job unless you know the job description.

It’s easy if you want to be the parent of a GOOD ATHLETE.  It starts with their gene pool. You are directly responsible for that. Not there? That’s OK. You have done all you could do in that category when you birthed them. What’s done is done.

No amount of position coaching, personal training, or going to every sports camp in the country can overcome a bad gene pool. It just doesn’t happen.

But anybody can be a GOOD PARENT of an athlete. That doesn’t take nearly as much.

What does it take?  You can’t be their coach. This coming from someone that coached everything, including the first soccer game he ever saw.

Oh, you can get them started. Youth sports are dependent on parent coaches. You might teach them how to run or throw but you’ve got to realize when it’s time to turn them over to someone else. And assume it’s earlier than you think it will be.

I’ve told the story before of one day when I was sitting at home with my son after high school football practice. I was telling him what he did wrong, maybe what he did right. Keep in mind that I know something about football. I played football. I coached football. I’ve been around football almost my entire life. I felt qualified.

He stopped me and said “Dad, I only have one dad, I’ve got nine coaches.” I got the message.

If you are a Helicopter Pilot, you are automatically disqualified from this job. You can’t hover. You can’t try and control things. I guess you can try but it won’t work.

And if you think you can be a referee/umpire/judge from the stands, you’re also automatically disqualified.

Keep in mind that the younger the athlete, the less skilled the game official. At the youngest levels, they do it for the love of the game and/or for the love of the kids. At the highest levels, they still make mistakes.

Something I can tell you with absolute certainty—if you don’t have a child in the game, the officiating is much, much better.

As a grandparent, I find that the quality of the officiating just doesn’t matter. I can see their mistakes and accept them. I can see that they’re doing their best. In watching a ton of grandkid games, I can honestly say that I’ve never seen an official that favored one team or another.

Pet Peeve Alert:  If a player from the other team misses a shot, don’t cheer. Cheer success in youth sports, not failure.

The only thing that needs to be on this application is your commitment to support your child. Get them to practice on time. Cheer their successes. Console their mistakes. And never boo.

When your child gripes about the coach, don’t reinforce their gripe but help them understand the coach’s actions. Help them understand what they can do differently or better. And never ask the coach about playing time. 

What else is in the job description? Take your child out and hit, throw, kick, jump, run. Swim, paddle, bike. Spend time with them working on what the coach has been teaching them. You can’t play tennis?  Throw them balls and let them hit them. Can’t hit the broad side of a barn door on a basketball court? That’s OK…rebound for them—they get more repetitions that way. Have them pitch to spots. You don’t have to pitch—they do.

They will have more success on the courts and fields and you will live longer and be happier.