Safe Zones

Safe zones. We all need them. But what are they?

Northwestern University was just penalized because of hazing incidents on their football team.  It happens. It’s been happening for decades. It happens everywhere.

But is it acceptable? Heavens no. I want to make that clear before we go any further.

A lot of organizations, teams, fraternities, even some adult organizations, have some kind of initiation for new members. Sometimes it is something as simple as memorizing their mission statement or something like that.

Sometimes it has a physical element such as being whacked by a paddle, which you then proudly hang on your wall.  It can be a lot of things, maybe just something that is embarrassing.

Rookies in the NFL are known for having to sing their school’s fight song in front of the whole team. Some of those are on social media and are quite hilarious.

The idea is to have you do something that you wouldn’t do otherwise. Something outside of your comfort zone. The intent is to give you a sense of belonging, that somehow going through the same initiation builds a team. Builds a sense of belonging.

I’ve talked a number of times about a trait that I believe is innate to the human existence. I believe that people want to be a part of something bigger than themselves.

Sports teams can be that. The team is stronger than the individual. We are better together. And if there are initiation rites, it can make bonding as a team better.

But when an initiation requires you to do something that is more than simply embarrassing, it could be too much. If it is of a physical nature, there should be boundaries. If it involves alcohol, it’s a bad idea. And if it is of a sexual nature, it should be forbidden.

When it stoops to the level of hazing, it is just wrong. And no one should have to go through something like that to be a part of any group.

Some of the stories about hazing are downright scary. Some are just stupid. I remember a fraternity pledge several years ago that was doing “beer chugging.” Like most of America, we had to be told what that was.

Teams and locker rooms should be a safe zone. They should be a place where you are safe to be yourself, to express an opinion and not be judged, and know that you won’t be harmed. I know that among my favorite places are coaches’ offices. Friendly banter abounds but those coaches always have your back.

A workplace should be the same. A place where you feel safe. A safe place to speak as well as a safe place to listen.

I tell the story about this imaginary coat rack at the front door of your work. When you get to work, you hang an imaginary coat representing all your home stress (and we all have it) on that coat rack and put on your imaginary work jacket.  Then, at the end of the day, you take your work jacket off and hang it on the coat rack while picking up your home jacket.

That separates the stress you have at home from the stress you have at work. That load is a lot easier to carry all day. And you might find that at the end of the day, that other jacket is a bit lighter.

Being a part of a team can do the same thing. A place where you separate. A place where you can grow, prosper, and feel safe. A place where you shouldn’t have to do something very wrong to gain entry.