3 AM Friends

 

I saw an old friend recently. Lonnie Hawkins is one of the few people I graduated from high school with that I’ve stayed in touch with. I’ve been gone from our hometown for a long time. Lonnie and I played football together. We’ve been friends since the 7^th grade.

Prior to the 7^th grade, the schools in my hometown were segregated. The black kids in town had to travel to another town, some of them literally riding past schools in the town where we all lived.

That changed when we went into the 7^th grade and the schools were integrated. We had no idea about the politics with all that, we just knew that the kids that we played with got to go to the same school as us.

And we got to play on the same sports teams. We were happy and excited. Lonnie and I were in the same homeroom, became friends, and are close to this day. Seeing him again was truly joyous.

Do you have those kinds of friends? Those friends that time and distance might separate but when you get together the friendship is still strong? That’s sort of a hidden joy that you can allow yourself. And it’s a blessing when you see each other again.

I saw a bit on social media just this week. It talked about two kinds of friends. The 3 AM friends and the 6 PM friends.

The 6 PM friends were definitely your good friends, somebody you might call on if you needed something. Somebody that knows you, knows your faults, and likes you regardless of what is going on. Somebody that will answer the phone if you call at 6 PM and might drop what they’re doing to help you out.

If we’re lucky, we have several of those. I’ve heard that if you can count five good friends, that you’re fortunate. I can and I definitely feel lucky.

The 3 AM friends are a different matter. They’re the ones that will answer the phone even if it is 3 AM when they see your name. They’re the ones that figure that if you’re calling at that time that you really need something so they’ve already started getting dressed.

There’s a Ben Affleck movie where Ben’s character walks in the room and says “I need your help. I can’t tell you what it is, you can never ask me about it, and we’re going to hurt somebody.” His friend doesn’t think twice and answers “whose car are we gonna take?”

I’m not advocating violence but that’s a 3 AM friend. Somebody that trusts you and doesn’t have to have a long explanation. I’ve got a couple of those in my life and they know who they are.

My friendship with Lonnie Hawkins started in a classroom, where we found that we had a lot in common. It was solidified on the football field, where we were teammates.

Teammates. There’s something about that term. Being teammates means that you have fought the same battles. It means that you have shed blood, sweat, and tears together, and drank out of the same cup.  Most of the friends from high school that I’ve stayed friends with were teammates. It’s a special bond.

Lonnie and I used to haul hay together too. We would sometimes see who could toss a hay bale the farthest or highest. We didn’t know it then, but we were training for the football field when we did that.

Sports generate a relationship like few others. It’s a brotherhood (or sisterhood) of people who might be completely different off the field, but on the field will fight for each other to the very end.

The life lesson there is not just about the value of friendship, but the lesson that when you’re part of a team, trust is integral part. Playing on a team builds that trust. Or it doesn’t and you fail. And there’s something especially cool about playing sports with your friends.

I’m not sure about calling at 3 AM but I feel certain that if I really needed Lonnie to do something for me, he would do it. And I would do it for him.