Fitting in

 

Everybody just wants to fit in.  This has been true forever (or at least as long as I’ve been alive, which, according to my grandchildren, is about the same thing) for people of all ages.

But I think it’s worse in junior high. Peer pressure and the pressure to “fit in” is immense. You see kids dressing alike, walking alike, hair is alike, talking alike.  Liking the same music. Having favorite things that are the same. And you’re not cool if you don’t.

Nobody wants to be “different,” unless they really, really want to be different. And then they look/dress/act drastically different just to be different.  Before I go any further, let me state for the record that this is OK.  More on that in a bit.

I remember when “bangs” and long hair became a thing. At least in my history, it goes back to the Beatles. They led the British invasion of pop stars arriving on our shores. Long hair and bell bottoms became the thing that everybody had to imitate.

I went from a flat-top to Beatle-bangs, with hair down to my eyes. Not “in” my eyes, mind you. Just down to them. The back was still short, sort of the opposite of the now forgotten (thank goodness) phase of business in the front, party in the back.

Our parents thought it was awful. As in the-end-of-the-earth-is-here awful. The Rolling Stones and The Who were going to ruin a whole generation.

And their parents thought that Elvis’s gyrations, which couldn’t be shown on television, were going to destroy that generation.

Would you believe that there was a period when some people thought that facemasks on football helmets were going to be the end of the game (although I must admit that advanced helmet technology has contributed to using the head as a weapon, which is a big part of the reason that we see so many head and neck injuries these days).

The simplest, plainest uniforms in football are probably those worn at Penn State. Two basic colors. No names on the jerseys. Their team motto is “Basic Blues. No Names. All Game.” Probably the epitome of fitting in. But I like it. Call me an old fogey.

I’m totally against the whole “look at me” approach to sports. Modifying a uniform with tape and bands on every body part. Over-the-top end zone celebrations. Screams and taunting and posturing after making routine plays.

In an all star game that I served in several years ago, a defensive back made a tackle 20 yards down the field and is then dragged another 10 yards before getting the ball carrier to the ground. The DB then jumped up and made the throat slash move like he had really done something. I can’t stand that stuff.

But here’s the thing—if you want to be better than the crowd, you simply must be different. You’ve got to work harder. You’ve got to show up earlier. You’ve got to WANT TO be different.

You’ve got to do the things that might not be cool, things others aren’t willing to do. It’s the pursuit of that difference that makes good become great.

I’m not talking about doing things that are illegal or that might harm your health. I’m talking about things like remaining coachable, especially when your friends don’t think it’s cool. It’s looking your coach in the eye and truly listening.

There isn’t a coach out there that wants anything out of you but your best, so give them the opportunity to coach you, even when your friends (or even your parents) might think your coach is an idiot. Be different. Be better.

Leaders are the ones that separate themselves from the crowd. Who are brave enough to be different, even if it means that they don’t fit in.

The world is changed by those that pursue their dreams with all that is in them, never giving a moment’s thought about what anyone else thinks about them.