Coach/Leader

 

I’ve told you several times that ideas for this space come from a lot of different places.

Matt Storm is an assistant baseball coach at MHS.  Prior to that, he had been at King’s Academy in Seymour as their Head Baseball Coach.  He’s coached at many levels and has sent a lot of baseball players on to bigger and better things.

He’s also spent a lot of time coaching youth league baseball, which led to a recent conversation he and I had.  We were both telling stories of youth coaches gone bad.  He related a couple of really horrific stories.

I’m not going to pick on baseball here. All youth sports have their stories. And I’m not going to pick on parents that coach their kid’s team.  It’s mostly dads, but both parents coach. And without them, very few sports teams could exist.

It takes a special person to coach other people’s kids. Fortunately, we’ve had quite a few of those around here. Don Sentell. Joey Winders. Rick Young. Ricky Maples.

Those were all youth football coaches. It seems like football has a bad reputation in youth sports ranks, but the vast majority of coaches that I know are genuinely interested in their players as individuals. They understand how important the role of Coach can be. They wouldn’t do it if they weren’t.

But this year, I watched a youth football coach (from another city) yell at his players, yell at the opposing players, yell at his assistant coaches, and, most of all, yell at the referees.  His tirade lasted from whistle to whistle.

Sometime in the second half, he incited several parents who then spent the rest of the game standing on the fence screaming and yelling for blood. Literally. It was awful. My son and I, along with a couple of others, escorted the referees to their vehicle, fearing for the safety. It was that bad.

But that wasn’t the worst episode I’ve ever witnessed. The worst youth sports coach I ever saw was a flag football coach.

This dad was a win-at-all-costs kind of coach.  He was all about building 9 and 10 year old “winners.” He sought to accomplish that by winning every game, preferably by a large margin.

When one of his players asked him if he could carry the ball just one time, in this, their final game (something his coach the year before had always done) this coach laughed in his face.

Laughed. Really. That youngster never considered playing football again.  I can only hope that the coach never coached again. Ever.

Sports are important. You’ll never hear me say anything else.  But when we reduce our definition of success in sports to wins and losses, we miss the point altogether.

Sports are intended to prepare young folks for adulthood.  The lessons we learn on the playing field should always lead to healthier, happier, better adjusted adults.

Don’t get me wrong—winning is good, but there is also value in adversity. For every team that wins that championship, there might be 50 that didn’t. If we ignore the true value of sport, then that championship becomes hollow.

The value of sport lies in the lessons learned. Teamwork. Discipline. Perseverance. Mental toughness. Diligence. How to lose and win with grace. The rewards of effort. Self-confidence. How to be coachable.

If your coach is not teaching the fundamentals of the game, whatever the game, you might want to look elsewhere.

Coaches, never forget the profound influence you have on your young charges. They often spend more time with you than they do their parents.  And often they will listen to you better than they will listen to their parents.