Taking Care of Those That Took Care of Us

My mom died last week.  Oh, it's OK.  She lived 97 full, robust years.  And her health had declined quite a bit in recent years.  More on that later.

You wouldn't know it to look at her, all 5'2" and 104 pounds but she played basketball.  She was a senior in 1936 and girls in Sweetwater, Tennessee played that old half court game.  She was a guard which means she never got to score. 

My favorite story about my mom is about a trip to Philadelphia that she took.  The year was probably 1943 and World War II was going on.  She was headed to Philly to visit with my dad who was stationed there. 

She got on the train in Sweetwater with a sandwich and $2.00 that her mother had given her, headed to Pennsylvania to see the man she had not too long before married.  She had only the dress that she was wearing and knew nothing more than that she was headed to Philadelphia.

She had no idea how to reach my dad and surely didn't realize what a big place she was visiting.  Somehow, she found my dad, secured a place to stay, and had a couple of weeks of glorious sightseeing with my dad and some friends she made.

What an adventure!

My parents were married for 54 years when my dad died in 1997.

In recent years, my mom had developed a progressive case of Dementia.  I've talked about my mom in this space on several occasions but have never mentioned that fact because she would occasionally read my column and I didn't want to embarrass her.

When she died, she had been living in the Memory Unit of the Morningview Assisted Living Center.  This is a wonderful place that deeply cares for their residents who face so many challenges. 

Despite advancing Dementia, she often knew who people were.  It really wasn't often that she didn't know me when I walked into her room but she did sometimes mistake me for my dad.

There's a lot more of this out there than you really can imagine.  That's why I'm writing this.  There are a lot of Pat Summitts out there.

It hurts to walk in and not be recognized.  My mom would sometimes get lost in her own residence and walk for hours looking for home.  She had no idea where she was.  One day it was Chattanooga, another Sweetwater.  She always wanted me to check on her mother for her and asked often about her long deceased brothers.

It's hard to deal with even family members when they can't function as we would expect them to.  There are not adequate resources available to take care of everyone that needs that care.  My mom was one of the lucky ones. 

We need more research.  We need more compassion.  We need more resources dedicated to those that can't remember basic functions like how to eat and where to use the bathroom. 

If you get a chance, show some love not just for these most vulnerable of our senior citizens but for those that care for them.  And if you get a chance, be generous with your checkbook to those organizations helping to fight Alzheimer's and Dementia.

Making The Team

I have a bit of a confession to make.  Sometimes I'm not quite what I seem.  Don't jump to too many conclusions there.  

Some people consider me a pretty good biker.  I do spend a lot of time on a bicycle.  It's really nothing to take off and do 40 miles or 60 miles or whatever distance my buddies want to do that day.  I'm well acquainted with The Wall and Butterfly Gap.  Foothills Parkway is just a training site.

But next to my friend Steve Bright, I might as well have left my training wheels on.  Steve and another buddy, Emil Herran, are in a totally different league.  They ride with me because, well, they like riding with people.  Group rides are a lot more fun than riding by yourself.  But they can leave me in the dust any time, any day.

Most people consider me pretty fit.  I've been doing CrossFit workouts for about eight years now.  David Spence and I started down this path and have found it to be a great way to get and stay fit.  Three days a week, our small band of buddies get together at Cherokee.

But next to Shila Newman, I am a slug.  This girl is incredible.  I have no doubt that she is one of the most fit people in Blount County.  She does it all and does it well.  She had a baby and was back at it like the next day (well...maybe not the next day...but soon after).  I am in awe.

I'm probably pretty strong (for a man of my advanced age).  I can knock out pullups and pushups until you're tired of watching.  Around the farm, I can do pretty much anything that needs to be done.

But next to Amanda Cagle, I'm a kick-sand-in-my-face weakling.  The girl is STRONG!   I've known her since she was a 9 year old gymnast.  She was one of my student trainers when she was in high school which led to her current career as an Athletic Trainer (she's the Head Athletic Trainer at Heritage High School and one of our Total Rehabilitation clinicians).

When she returned here to work, I told football coach Tim Hammontree that she was probably stronger than most of his football players.  She was.  And is.  She recently worked to get slim and trim (which she is) but she's still just as strong.

And then there's Ken Bell.  Some people might consider me a pretty good athlete.  Road biking, mountain biking, basketball, skiing, scuba diving--I do a lot of things pretty well.

But next to Dr. Bell, I'm a bumbling wanna-be.  I introduced him to rock climbing several years ago.  Before the first day was over, he was climbing places I had tried and failed.

We did a tennis camp together one time.  By the end of the first day, he was the best tennis player at the camp.  And don't even get me started on what he can do on the back of a mountain bike.  I could die today trying to keep up with him.

Last year he qualified for the World Championship in the Half-Ironman competition. 

So here's the take-away:  You don't have to be the most fit, the strongest, the most athletic.

If you can't be the fittest person in the arena, be the most persistent.

If you can't match strength with others, be the most dedicated.  Outwork your opponents.

If you can't be the most athletic player on the team, be the hardest working.

If you want to be in the game, be coachable, be a great teammate, eat right, get enough sleep, and pay attention to the not-so-little things like preparation and practice.

Why Play Sports?

I was listening to a podcast the other day and the physical therapist speaking made the statement that "the vast majority of ACL (Anterior Cruciate Ligament) injuries occur in sports."  Keep in mind, he was talking about my world.  Sports.   ACL's.  Injuries.

I had never really stopped to consider that without sports, we wouldn't have near as many ACL tears.  And then I thought about concussions.  As I write this, I've got three football players on the team that I serve that are being held out because of concussions. 

Without football, we wouldn't have as many concussions.  As much as I hate to admit it, those are truths that I have to deal with.  Which leads to the obvious question, why play sports?

Anyone that knows me knows where I stand on this.  Sports are Life Lessons.  But out of respect to my athletes, my patients, my community, and to sports, it is a question that still has to be asked.

So here goes my answer. I'm going to try and avoid clichés and I bet I offer some reasons you might not have thought about.

Sports are fun.   Well, at least they should be.    With my own kids, there were dad's three rules for school:  Be happy, be smart, play something.  And when it stops being fun, do something else.

Sports builds relationships.  Some of the best friends you'll ever have are your teammates.  Under the duress of competition, you also discover what being a friend is all about.  I've said in a variety of contexts "if you want a friend, be a friend." 

Active teens become active adults.  That one is well proven.  And since we live in the 3rd most obese state in America, producing active adults should be among our highest priorities.

Sports teach us how to perform under pressure.  Welcome to the real world.  Deadlines, cut-off dates, quotas, productivity...all those things are factors of the every day work world.  

Sports brings families together.  Some of my family's fondest memories are some of those AAU basketball trips.  It goes back to that relationship thing.  

Ask any family with kids about getting to all the practices, games, events, and everything else that goes along with playing a sport.  It takes an efficient family effort to get it all in.  You've got to work together to make it work--learning family dynamic lessons along the way.

Sports teach youngsters dedication, persistence, and respect.  Hard to argue with those.

Sports teach us how to deal with a boss.  That's something that they will definitely need some day.  It's different than dealing with parents.  Learning to deal with a boss early is a good Life Skill.

Sports help us develop leadership skills.  Growing up, two things gave me lessons in leadership:  Football and Boy Scouts.   Most anybody can lead subordinates.  How good do you lead peers?

Sports give us the opportunity to be part of a team.  Any successful team has parts that work well together.  One of the best lessons often learned is that you sometimes have to sacrifice personal goals for the good of the team.  If you learn the lessons of sports well, you become  a good teammate and that is another extraordinarily valuable Life Skill.

So, do the risks of injury warrant sports participation?  For our children to become successful, productive adults, I believe they do.  I believe that sports provide us with Life Lessons so essential to all that.  In few other places do we learn those lessons so completely. 

What's Holding You Back?

I get asked all the time when I'm going to retire.  Everybody seems to think that I work too hard.  I do work a lot of hours, particularly during football season.  But that wise man Bruce Guilliaume once said "when you can't tell if it's work or play, you've got it made," or something like that.  I'm there.


I guess I'm a bit of a philosopher.  Goodness knows I'm no theologian.  I've got far more questions than I do answers and aren't those blessed in theology supposed to have all the answers too?


Oh, my mama always had hopes that I would be a preacher and early on as I searched high and low for what I wanted to be (and got lost in that search more than once) maybe that was a consideration.  A Baptist preacher of course. 


But I do just have too many darn questions to try and tell anybody about religion and how to live a righteous life and all that.  I'm much better at much simpler pursuits, like living a good life, loving all, walking the walk.  Working diligently to make my small world a better place.


In my 63+ years here on earth, I've experienced a lot of things.  Some good.  Some bad.  Some hard. 

But all those ingredients have made me who I am and led me to a place where I am happy, where I have no regrets. 


Would I change some things?  Oh sure.  Maybe.  Well...no.


I would love to talk to my Dad one more time.  I'd love to tell him all the things that have made my life so rich since he passed away.  He would have loved those great-grandchildren with all his heart just like he did those grandchildren.


But then he would be 103 now and frail, maybe not remembering where to go for supper.  And in pain all the time.  So it seems selfish to want him to be around.  Still...


So here's where I go off on being the philosopher (although I'm not sure I'm really old enough to offer too much life advice):  Be happy with who you are.  Love yourself.  You're all the you you've got.


Don't keep score.  It really doesn't matter how big your house is or how nice your car might be.  Life is about who you love and who loves you. 


Life is about trust and passion and happiness.  It's about laughing until your face hurts. And understanding what unconditional love really means.


Life is all about what you do with it.  Are you making the world a better place?  Are you making those in your life happier?  Do they feel better about themselves because you're in their life?


Life is about not having regrets, even for the mistakes you made.  Sometimes the person we have become is dependent upon those mistakes and the lessons learned.  But oh, for sure learn from those mistakes. 


You want to know one of the best things about life?  What happened yesterday is the past.  What happens tomorrow is the future.  And you are in control of the future. 


Make it happen.  Be the person you want to be.  Live the life of your dreams.  What's holding you back?

Adam Koontz

Let me introduce you to Adam Koontz, just in case you don't know him.

Adam is a huge fan of Maryville High School football.  Huge as in HUGE!   He never misses a game.  In fact, the recent clash with Bearden was his 200th game in a row. 

Think about that.  That's a lot of football games. 

Adam started going to MHS football games in 1999 when he entered Maryville High.  He met football star Chase Anderson in study hall.  Chase invited him to the game and Adam was hooked.

He didn't go to all the games that year but in 2000, he attended every game.  Same thing in 2001 and 2002.

His early string was broken in 2003 when he had to register for Maryville College.  He remembers well that the missed game was against Knox Carter.  He agonized over that one but his scholarship to Maryville College mandated that he be there.

But then the "real" string began, culminating with number 200 on September 23rd.  Had he not missed that game in 2003, his string would be approaching 250!

Rain, heat, cold...it makes no difference to Adam.  He is always there.   I've seen him sitting there covered in snow, soaked to the bone from a driving rain, bearing up to scorching heat.

Same Adam every time.  Not too excitable, he still enjoys every moment. 

And if you want to know anything from the history of those 200 games, just ask him.  His recall is excellent--a living history of MHS football in the last decade and a half. 

He always sits in the same spot for home games.  He and I have developed a bit of a ritual every game where I drop by his spot and we chat about the games.  He always wants the latest injury report.

Then he will give me his opinion about what to expect in the game about to start.  An astute observer of the game, Adam knows football and particularly MHS football better than most.  He always asks my prediction and then gives his own. 

He's more often right than I am.  Predictions made, we fist bump and I'm off to do my job.

This year, he has begun sharing his knowledge of the game and is helping Coach Joey Winders and the Maryville Southerners.  In addition to being an assistant coach, he reviews film and offers his insight to the rest of that coaching staff.

Now a Maryville College graduate, Adam works for Ruby Tuesday.  There is no doubt that he has a passion and a love for Rebel football like few others.

But here's the rest of the story.  Adam has Cerebral Palsy.  He's confined to a wheelchair. 

Cerebral Palsy happens at birth so this is all Adam has ever known.  When you look at Adam, sitting in his chair and whose movements are impacted by his Cerebral Palsy, you might see someone different.

Someone that might take you out of your comfort zone.  But if you will take the time, you will find a warm, engaging young man with a great sense of humor and tons of smarts.

And although he cannot play, he has shown over the years there are many ways to contribute to something you love.

So here's to Coach Koontz and The Streak.  May it last for many more years!