HOPE

I know I usually write about sports.  But this has nothing to do with sports.  Not even remotely.

And if there is any comparison, any hint that this has anything to do with sports, that's a mistake.

By now everybody is aware of the tragedy in Charleston last week.  It was horrible.  Unthinkable really.

I won't rehash the particulars--you've heard about them all.

But what moved me...moved me to tears, actually...was what the family members of those slain had to say directly to the killer. 

"I forgive you."

"God loves you."

"You hurt a lot of people but God forgives you, and I forgive you."

Just days after he had gunned down their family members.  People that were in church on a Wednesday evening.  Senior citizens, mostly.

A state senator who also served as a pastor at the church. 

Good people all, I guarantee you.  You don't find many bad people worshipping on Wednesday night.

And then their families showed more love and grace and forgiveness than most of us can muster up in a lifetime.

I couldn't have done what they did.

Think about it.  Within days of this horrific event, the family members had already forgiven the young man.  Invited him back into their church.

Not me.

Not in 6 weeks.  Probably not in 6 months.   While the shock is still an open wound, to offer forgiveness without hesitation or reservation?

At that same moment, I'm wanting justice.  Demanding punishment.  Just let me get my hands on him!

Those people are so much better than me that I am humbled just to know they are part of the same human race that I am and thrilled because they offer hope for a stricken land.

Yes, there is hope.  Hope for a better day.  Hope for an end to racism and violence.  Hope that America can truly become a land where all men are treated as equals.  That no one is judged by the color of their skin.

Dealing with the Heat (for the Umpteenth Time)

I've been doing this stuff (physical therapy, athletic training) for almost 38 year now.  I've been an athlete for longer than that.  My introduction to organized sports was football, when I was in the 4th grade. 

It was actually pretty unheard of back then to start that young but I was determined to play so my dad signed me up.

All of a sudden I find myself on a team with 14 year-old 8th graders, some of whom were already shaving. 

Didn't stop me though.  I loved the game then and I love it now.

Football has given me a life and a career but that's another story, one I've told here a couple of times. 

I've loved it through the good times of Friday nights and Saturday championships.

I've loved it even through my son's injury on October 3rd, 2002, when he lay on the floor of the Florida State football field with a horribly broken right leg. 

Only once have I been even peripherally involved with a football injury that resulted in death.

It was 1980 and I was living in Bluefield, West Virginia, working with the local high school football team.  It was nothing like today, when we are there all the time.  It was more of an occasional check 

and then one of us was there on Friday nights.

A young man, rather overweight and getting over flu-like symptoms, collapsed at a hot preseason practice and died later at the hospital.

Yes, the heat likely killed him. 

Our athletic trainers work hard to prevent heat-related problems and I'd like to think that in today's world, in Blount County, Tennessee, this young man would have survived.

It wasn't really the game of football that killed him, although practicing in the hottest part of the day with pads and a helmet make for a dangerous situation.

It's hot right now.  As I write this, they're predicting the possibility of a record high today. 

But that doesn't mean you should stay inside in the air conditioned house all the time.  It's OK to get outside, you've just got to be smart about it.

Hydrate.  You gotta do it.  Drink more than you think you need.

Stay wet.  We sweat for a reason.  As the water evaporates from our skin, it cools us off.  Wet from a water bottle is OK too.

Wear bright clothing (to reflect the sun's rays) and a hat.  And clothing that allows air to circulate freely (see evaporation above).

Take breaks.  Maybe always have an exercise partner who can recognize if you are overheating.

And if you do overheat, consider it a medical emergency.  It is imperative that you get cooled off.  In a hurry.  

Be The Ripple

We had a football player at one of our schools several years ago that was pretty unique.  He wasn't very big, a trait not really favored among football players.

A decent athlete, he wasn't that fast-at least not fast enough that would get a little guy on the football field.  He never gained a starter's spot.  I do recall that he was on a couple of special teams.

But what he had was an enthusiasm that was infectious.  He was inspirational and dedicated and never let the fact that he didn't play much affect his attitude.

To watch him around the locker room, you might think he was one of the stars of the team.

Nope.  Hardly ever played.  But he was a leader on that team.  He had a positive impact on his teammates.

Do this.  Find a quiet body of water.  Toss a small stone in the water and watch what happens. 

What you see are ripples that start when the stone hits the water.  Those ripples keep going out, further and further, until they meet an obstacle. 

That's what this kid did.  He was the stone that created the ripple that extending much farther out than you would expect it to.

A lot of talk on team sports centers on the Team.

Things like there's no "I" in team.  Coaches always asking their players to put the team first.  Lots of emphasis on being a good teammate. 

And then there's the kid that doesn't play much.  Like this one.  Maybe they made it to the second team, never quite making it to a starting position. 

At that point, that athlete can do one of two things--either continue working as hard as possible, keeping a good attitude, being ready in case they are needed--in other words, being a good teammate--or they can begin the blame game and lose all that other stuff. 

I saw it not long ago with a little twist.  The starter gets hurt and the backup comes in and does a great job.  Then after the starter is well, that starting spot is not necessarily theirs.

So they can sulk and have a bad attitude, which helps no one.  Or they can support the new starter and the team, keeping a positive outlook even helping with advice.  That's what this kid did. 

And when he regained his starting job, nothing changed.  Not his attitude.  Not his body language.  Not his words.  He was still that same person.  That spoke volumes to the kid's character.

That consistency and commitment to be a good teammate defined who he was and, I truly believe, will serve him well his entire life.

We never know what affect those things that are so tiny as to be hardly noticeable will have on the big picture.  We never know what ripples that small stone will create.

But the affects can be life changing. 

Be the ripple.

Birthday Perspectives

I had a birthday a couple of weeks ago.  You heard about it here.

I don't feel old but I'm getting there.  And I've realized a few things. 

As you get old, life gets slower.  It's not just that you get slower (you do), but life seems to slow down.   Or maybe it's just that life gets simpler.   Maybe even, as your vision declines, things get clearer.

I'm pretty sure that your priorities change. Priorities at least get more distinct, probably more narrow. 

"Things" just aren't so important any more.  Money, houses, cars, jewelry, vacations.  OK...forget that part about vacations...they're still important, maybe even more so.  You heard a little about mine last week.

I used to have an uncle who liked to say "I'm working on my second million...I gave up on my first."   

Money doesn't seem as important as you get older but then most of us of a certain age probably have fewer bills and a steadier income so maybe it isn't fair to say that. 

Maybe you wanted to have a lifestyle that would put you on TV's Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous.  

If we're honest, we all, at one time, probably wished for riches that would give us the ability to jet off to exotic places on a notion, stay in the finest hotels, eat everything on the menu.

I think I'm one of the lucky ones that realized that I was rich beyond my wildest dreams a long time ago. And it didn't have anything to do with money.   

I didn't have to get old to know that.   When I was much younger, all I wanted was a job that I enjoyed and enough money to put food on the table and make the house and car payment(s).  And kids...I always wanted kids.

At a certain age, you're probably living in your last house and it's probably paid for.  It no longer matters how big your house is but it does matter if you can easily get in and out of the bathroom.  It might even matter more what the yard and landscaping look like than the house.  A lot of old folks are like that. 

If you're old, you probably don't trade cars as often.  We don't.  My wife and I drive the wheels off of our vehicles.  And there are no fancy cars in our garage.  As long as I have a pick-up truck and my wife has a car with seat warmers, we're both happy as can be. 

Jewelry?   Maybe my wife would give you a different answer.  I sure don't need any.  My wedding ring is enough and my watch is so old I can't remember where it came from.

Family becomes more important.   That's probably because you understand better how precious they are.

I'm not exactly like most grandparents who seem prone to say that if they knew grandparenting was so much fun they would have skipped having kids and moved straight into being a grandparent.   I love and enjoy my grandkids but raising my own children was one of the absolute greatest experiences of my life.  

I do know that it took me a while to realize that it was more important that they be happy than it was for them to be the star of the team or to bring home straight A's.  Or clean up their room.  (And I just got the stare from both of them over that straight A's comment.)

Your plans to change the world get modified.   But you're OK with that because you might just realize that you've changed all the world that you need to.  Or maybe you've been able to decide which world you want to change.

Yep, this getting old thing isn't too bad.  I'm healthy and deliriously happy.   

Getting older?  I hope so!  Like Kenny Chesney says "Lord, I want to go to heaven, just not today."

Everybody Needs to Be a Big Deal Sometime

I've been on vacation.  It was wonderful.

Every year we take our children and grandchildren and go to a beach somewhere.  Where doesn't really matter much.  The fact that we're somewhere together means everything.

Our days were hardly routine yet there was a routine that made it memorable and special.

I usually started my day early with a couple of miles on the Standup Up Paddleboard.  The water is calm, there is no one out, and the workout feels good. I look forward to that time all year long.

I'm in charge of breakfast every morning and the kids all have their Daddy Joe favorites.  (The adults do too.)

From there it is a day of beach, pool, snorkeling, naps, and whatever else we decide to do.  The randomness of it all and the total lack of structure (do what you feel like) is part of what makes it a vacation for us all.

Dinner might be at one of our favorite restaurants but we might cook too.  Doesn't matter.  When everyone jumps in to help cook and clean up, there is something really special about the time together.

On this trip, I ran into a guy from Tennessee that I hadn't met but had heard of.  He said something that struck me oddly.  He said "you're sort of a big deal in physical therapy."

I had never thought of myself in those terms.  I think mostly that comes from being around as long as 

I have and partly because I've stayed in the same place as long as I have (36 years and counting).

But I've got to be honest, it does feel good for somebody to say that.

As I walked away, one thought came to mind--isn't that what everyone wants?  To be sort of a big deal in one place or another?

I hope I made my children feel that way.  I hope each of my grandchildren feel that way.   I want them to know that they're a big deal in my eyes.  I think it is crucial in their development to be a big deal at some time.

Maybe that's a grandparent's role.  If so, I embrace it fully.  Because I know with absolute certainty that they are the smartest, the best looking, the most athletic...just like yours.

Don't all children need that?  And maybe, just maybe, adults do too. 

I've said it before (many times):  I don't see bad kids, but I see too many bad parents.  Parents who mistreat their kids.  Parents whose expectations for their children are just not based in reality.

Parents whose children are taking a path of their own choosing that just might not be what their parents have chosen for them and the parents aren't handling it too well.  Parents who are living vicariously through their children.  Maybe those parents never had a time in their lives when they were "sort of a big deal."

We should get that from a lot of places.  Many times, it's from sports.  That's OK, since sports reward effort and dedication, traits that are basic to human success.

So look around you today.  Who in your world needs acknowledgement that that they're "sort of a big deal?"  Let them know it.

They will be better because of it.