Making a Life

It dawned on me the other day.  We (I) have to take time to do some things because they are good for us.

I'm not talking about diet and exercise.  Goodness knows I've talked about that plenty (although I don't intend on shutting up on those topics anytime soon--not with the recent announcement that America has hit an all time high for percentage of people with obesity).

No, I'm talking about the little things in life.  Little things that make a life.

A buddy of mine had told me about taking his lunch hour and going home and reading on his back porch during a driving rain.   I stopped to think--I can't remember the last time I read a good book.  I guess it was when I was on vacation.  I usually manage to read there.

And sitting watching the rain?  That was probably on vacation too.  Maybe waiting on the rain to stop so I could head to the beach.

I think everybody needs to stop and watch the rain.   Maybe ponder life's meaning.  At the very least think about what your own life means.

It just doesn't seem to happen for me.  You see, I work all the time.  It's football season so my job runs to about 60 hours a week.  And we've done a major renovation on our house which is still not completely finished.  Add in the short amount of time that I've got to do yardwork/farmwork and you can see that when I say I work all the time, it really is pretty true.

I'm not whining.  I choose all this.  But I do realize my shortcomings--the mistakes I make every day.  And I understand the choices that I make and the consequences on my life and my health.

But I know with absolute certainly that I (we) need to take the time to read good books.  And have long conversations.  Take long walks.  Listen to good music.

There have been a lot of great traveling exhibits at the Knoxville Museum of Art.  It seems like I always have these great plans to visit KMA yet I can remember only once in a long time that I have actually followed through on those plans.  And it was closed that day.

We need to sleep in every once in a while.  I do it occasionally but sleep is not one of my vices.  I'm getting a bit more than I used to but I'm still up at 4 most mornings.  Even on vacation, I'm usually up, maybe paddleboarded a bit, swam some laps, and still back to the condo before anybody else in the family gets up. 

We need to tell the people in our lives that we love them or, if the words are too difficult for you to say out loud, show them.  At least tell them that you appreciate them.  They might be gone tomorrow.

Go for a ride, call an old friend, do something completely out of your comfort zone.  Promise yourself that today you're going to do it.  Don't be so busy making a living that you fail to make a life.

Handling Adversity

Down by 10 and your best scorer just fouled out.  What do you do?  Trailing by two touchdowns late in the game and your quarterback goes down with an injury.  How do you respond?

Do you concede defeat?   Do you give up?  Or do you respond by playing harder, by giving more of yourself? 

What do you do when faced with adversity?  How do you behave?  When things go wrong, how do you respond?

The high school football game that I most remember from my own playing days was one that we lost.  A close game, back and forth.  Our best defensive player went out with an injury early in the game.  We messed up the coverage and allowed a punt return for a touchdown.

With the best efforts of both teams--it came down to the last seconds of the game.  Probably the better team won.  I don't know.  I do believe I gave it my very best effort.  It was likely my personal best game in high school and the best game for my team.  (BTW, the team we were playing was MHS, who won the state championship a few games later.)

The bottom line is that in most games adversity is going to happen.  Somebody misses an easy shot on goal.  A fumble or interception.  A double fault.  Missing a gimme putt.

How you respond tells a lot about the strength of your character, about your integrity. 

A lot of it depends on your mindset, how you approached the game.  I've seen teams that take the field or court with a confidence in themselves, in their ability as a team or as an individual to respond to adversity, that nothing can shake them.

They might fall behind early.  Those bad things might happen.  But they fight through it.  Sometimes it brings out the best in them.

Your level of commitment has a lot to do with it.  How committed are you?   How determined are you?  Are you willing to sacrifice for what is best for the team?

I played defensive tackle for most of one game in high school.   We had injuries to our first four defensive tackles.  We were behind in a game and as a linebacker, our defensive tackles were getting me killed.   I went to my coach and asked him to let me play tackle. 

He did. Now keep in mind that I was a little bigger than I am now, but not much.  And lined up across from me was an offensive lineman headed to the University of Kentucky.  I have no memory of really how I did.  Oh, in my mind, I think I did fine but true memories fade. 

I do know that we were behind in that game but made a comeback and made it a great game.  And I don't know what part I might have played in that comeback other than the fact that I was willing to give up my natural spot (linebacker) to try and help the team.  I'd like to think that was my shining moment.

The bottom line is that when adversity comes your way, in life and in sports, don't you quit.  Keep fighting.  Allow it to become YOUR shining moment.

John Greenleaf Whittier's poem Don't Quit says it best.  "And many a failure comes about when he might have won had he stuck it out."

Who are your heroes?

We've had plenty of opportunity to find heroes lately.  I'm betting that only a tiny bit of the heroism displayed during the recent shooting in Las Vegas has come out.  People helping people during all the hurricane activity we've had has been all over the news.

If you ask a youngster who their heroes are, you are likely to get  a sports star.  Maybe a few movie stars or rock stars but sports will dominate the list.

When I was growing up, during the dawn of the Space Age, it might have been an astronaut.  I thought John Glenn must be the coolest guy ever.  I liked The Beatles but I didn't want to be them.  And I never saw them as heroic.

So, what is the definition of hero? To answer that question,  I did what everyone does...I Googled the term.  Google says " a person who is admired or idealized for courage, outstanding achievements, or noble qualities."  Wikipedia describes a hero as (and I paraphrase here) " is a person...who, in the face of danger, combats adversity through feats of ingenuity, bravery, or strength, often sacrificing their own personal concerns for a greater good.

Going Old School, Webster's said "a person admired for achievements and noble qualities." 

So who fits those definitions?  Astronaut Scott Kelly maybe.   Not only has he been to space multiple times, when his wife, Congresswoman Gabby Giffords was shot, he was there for her.  I heard Kelly speak one time and wanted to run out and change the world.

Once upon a time, I thought Lance Armstrong was heroic.  Beat cancer.  Won the Tour de France over and over.  Established the Livestrong Foundation (for which I dutifully wore the yellow arm band).

Then we found out the truth about him.  And we find out that maybe he isn't really a very nice person either.  He did accomplish more for cancer research than just about anybody and he did win bike races in an era when everyone was cheating just like him but heroic?  Not anymore.  Not to me anyway.

Who are your heroes?  Who do you admire the most?  Who do you see as being all those things that we attribute to being heroic?

I'm going to jump to my real point here.  I believe that you need to look for your heroes right here, where you live.  Not on TV.  Not in the movies.  Not on the basketball court or football field. 

 Look for someone that you know, someone that you  have looked in the eyes and seen who they really are.   Someone that has walked the walk and you've seen them do it.

The neighbor that changes your neighborhood.  The law enforcement officer that is out there every day making the world safer and better.  The fireman that runs into a burning house to save a child, putting their own life at risk.  Soldiers defending our country and the defenseless around the world.

The public servant or political office holder that stands up for what is right, even when it isn't popular or politically expedient (maybe especially so).  The family that takes in children that don't have many options.

Admire the person who took a bullet for somebody else.  Or dragged others to safety.  They deserve our praise and admiration.  But I think we need heroes that we can reach out and touch.   Everyday heroes that do the right thing, day in and day out, even when no one is watching.

So...who are your heroes?

On Mortality

Almost every time my words get printed, I read it and think "dang, I wish I had said this (or that)."  I don't think I've ever written anything that I wouldn't change something.  I'm my own worst critic.

Maybe it's part of getting old, although I've not yet met my dad's definition of truly old (80), but I'm thinking more about time and things like that.  I wrote about carpe diem a couple of weeks ago.  That's sort of what I'm talking about.

So that carpe diem piece left some things out.  Like mortality.  And the fact that I've lived well over half my life.  I've got to admit it--right after checking the sports pages and the editorial page, I head for the obituaries.  Looking, I guess, for someone I might know.

Maybe it's my early entrance to geezer-dom but the first thing I look for is their age.  Were they younger than me?  Yes?  Dang.  That's young.  Then I look for some clue as to what got them there.

The bottom line is that we aren't promised tomorrow.   Somebody that you talked to yesterday is gone today.  I wrote about that recently too.   That very thing happened to some friends this week.

I find myself wanting to squeeze every moment of every day.  I'm missing a lot of things because I work too much but that is both a choice I make every day and a part of me that I can't let go.    But every day I have doubts about the choices I make about the use of the time.  Any more, it seems like I'm making those choices based on that carpe diem stuff.

I've even passed on a couple of bike rides recently, opting for a fun mountain bike ride with Ken Bell rather than get my behind kicked on a slobberknocker ride with a group of riders all better than me. 

My bucket list is short.  I'd like to see Machu Picchu.  I want to see what kind of adults my grandchildren become (but that doesn't count).  I want to see a night football game at LSU.  Eating my way across northern Italy is in there somewhere.  I'd like to get good at fly fishing and take lots more hikes with my wife.

But those things are events that I can make happen if I really want to.  What about today?  What about this moment?

Coaches everywhere tell their young charges to enjoy every single game.  That (in high school football anyway) they only get ten opportunities to play the game they may have played as long as they could remember.

Just this week I heard Derek Hunt tell his team "you're only guaranteed four more of these games--don't waste these opportunities."  It seems like only yesterday that I saw many of these same young men playing middle school football. 

And for the seniors, it's winding down.  Quickly.  Oh, there are the playoffs and teams around here have a habit of playing a lot of those but that's a different season.  It's maybe one and done then.

I would tell athletes everywhere to enjoy every minute of it.  Enjoy the practices, even though they can be hard.  It is an opportunity to get better and prove yourself. 

Enjoy the friendships that you will make.  You are forming bonds that will last forever.  Even now, when I see high school teammates  J.L. Millsaps or Lonnie Hawkins, there is a bond that time cannot erode.  And I might see them once every couple of years. 

Enjoy the locker room and the coaches and the smiling parents after a game.  The fans, the work, and the attention.  Enjoy every minute of it.  All too soon, it will be over.