What Doe Discipline Mean To You?

Discipline.  What does that word mean to you?

To a little kid, it means punishment.  Do something wrong and you get "disciplined."  I got spanked (not often).  Only once by my dad (I drew a snowman on the wall of my room with a crayon--I must have been 4 or 5).  Only once at school and it was more a swat on the butt by a teacher that was also my preacher's wife, Mrs. Rainwater, and it was more a hurry up and take a seat in the bleachers in the gym (don't you think I remember those pretty well?).

By my mom?  Too often to remember.  I must have misbehaved at Sunday night church a lot.  We had a willow tree behind our house.  I can remember many Sunday nights when my mom would tell me to go cut a willow switch and then would wear my backside out with that thing. 

Must have worked.  I've never been arrested.

For today's kid, it is more likely to be Time Out, or some variation thereof.

For younger teenagers, being it might be a privilege denied or a possession withdrawn.  Later, it might be loss of driving privileges.

All under the title of "discipline."

I've heard a lot of college coaches talk about discipline.  In the recruiting process, it's something that parents want to hear.  They want to know that their child is going to learn "discipline" from this coach.

To the parents, that probably means that their son or daughter is going to be held accountable, that they are not going to get in trouble.  To the coach, it probably means that their player is going to work hard and do what they are told.

Don't get me wrong.  I believe those are good things.  I just don't think that's what discipline is at all. 

Discipline, to me, is what you do when no one is watching.  Discipline is getting up at 4 AM to workout because you might not get to later in the day.  Discipline is eating what is good for you instead of what you crave, especially when no one is with you.

Discipline is doing the right thing, every time.  Especially if there would have been no consequences in doing the wrong thing.

A college coach promising to teach discipline is a bit hollow to me.  What they are teaching is reward and punishment.  Late for a workout?  You're going to be running extra.  Miss a practice?  Oh.  My.  Goodness.  What happens to you then has nothing to do with discipline.

What you learn from that is that there  are consequences to your actions.  That you meet the expectations of others or you are punished.  And again, those are good things.

But real discipline (again, in my opinion) is self-imposed.  It is living up to the expectations that you have for yourself.  It is setting the standards by which you want to live your life.

You learn discipline by repeating good acts, by doing the right thing, over and over and over until it becomes second nature.