Be A Parent!

Keep in mind that I've been around football most of my life.  I started playing in the 4th grade on a team that was mostly 7th and 8th graders.  In some form, I've been around the game since then.

I've actually even coached some, first in the Midgets program in my hometown while still in college and more recently in our Parks & Rec's youth football program.  I've been on more sidelines and in more coach's offices than just about anybody. 

And I've coached a lot of different things.  Soccer.  Basketball.  Softball.  Baseball.  I think I know a bit about sports and movement and coaching.

So here's the picture:  My son is a sophomore in high school, playing football.  As that school's athletic trainer, I had been at all of his practices and games.  I did it long before he got there and I'm still doing it. 

He was sitting in my recliner in our den and I'm trying to coach him up on what to do on the football field.  This was probably routine for us.  He had listened patiently and then finally spoke up.  What he said remains with me to this day.  I can still hear it.

"Dad, I've got one dad and 10 coaches."

That was all it took.  I don't think I ever tried to tell him anything about football since that day.  I did my best just to be his dad.  

Oh, I'm sure I've tried to tell him about life and a lot of other things.    Maybe he listened and maybe he didn't.  Maybe my advice was heeded or maybe it was ignored but either way, he's turned out to be a really great adult. 

I had the opportunity to speak to a group of football parents this year just before practice started and I told them that story.  Behind me sat our really incredible group of coaches. 

I pointed to those guys and told those parents "these are really great coaches.  They know what they're doing.  What you need to do is to be a parent to your kid.  Be a mom to them.  Be a dad.  But leave the coaching to these guys."

That may be the single best bit of advice I've ever given.  I've lived it. 

When your son or daughter comes home from practice or a game and is complaining about the coach...that the coach doesn't know this or that, don't agree with them.  Carefully guide the conversation elsewhere, into some positive arena.  

If your son or daughter is not starting and is frustrated about that, instead of blaming inept coaches, help them understand what they can do to get better, to put themselves into a better position.  Teach them how important it is to be a good teammate regardless of their playing status.

Allow  them learn the lessons that come from sports participation, from being on a team, from being coachable.

Remember, they've only got one mom and one dad.