Life's Failures

First, for the record, let me state that I have made plenty of mistakes. Plenty.  Some I remember and others I have worked hard to forget. 

Last week I was talking to a group of physical therapy students from across the state.  At the end of one talk, I opened the floor for questions.  I had been talking about mentorship and how to build a career.  One student asked me “what failures have you learned from in your career?”

Interesting question.  I don’t really think I’ve failed at anything.  Oh, there are some things that I’ve set out to do that I didn’t accomplish.  I don’t think I failed at those. 

At this point, it is necessary to switch to a non-gratuitous sports analogy.  I didn’t fail.  Time just ran out. 

Not every team can go undefeated.  Every year.  It just doesn’t work that way.  Some of the greatest dynasties in sports with some of the longest win streaks eventually did lose. 

I’m not going to say that “it doesn’t matter whether you win or lose but how you play the game.”  That’s not the way I’m wired.  I never played a game of any kind when the outcome didn’t matter to me. 

All those parents that have kids playing in games where they don’t keep score—they are silently keeping score.  And if they’re not, their kids are.

Keeping score gives our games structure.  And having a winner in every game teaches us lessons that hopefully extend way beyond sports.  That maybe we need to work harder.  Prepare better. 

I hate the term “loser.”  When you think of that word, all sorts of images enter your head, none of them good. 

It ignores the valiant effort that fell just short.  It betrays the athlete that gave it everything they had but couldn’t vanquish a superior opponent.

The lessons we learn from sports reach WAY beyond the games themselves.  We need the games to measure how we’re doing but the lessons don’t start there; they start on the practice field and in the gym. 

Those lessons start in the weight room and running on the track.  They exist in doing something that you don’t think you can do.  Of pushing yourself physically until you can’t do any more (but maybe reach down and find that little more). 

I was going to open a downtown restaurant one time.  I got cold feet about the economy and didn’t do it.  Sullivan’s is there now.  A failure?  Not really.  My family is rather glad I’m not in the restaurant business.  I’m gone enough as it is.

I opened a hospital equipment store once long ago.  It didn’t do so great so I sold it.  A failure?  Maybe.

The bottom line is that the mistakes that I’ve made, the failures (OK, I’ll agree to that term) that I’ve had, have led me to where I am today.  Have made me the person that I am today.

And I have to be OK with that.  Without those mistakes, without those failures, maybe I wouldn’t be who I am today.

I am happy with my life.  Great wife of almost 42 years.  Great kids.  Greater grandkids.  Great friends.  Good health.  Fun hobbies.  The chance to do what I love and get paid for it.  Yeah, I’m in a pretty good place.